2004 Volume 1

Gun Toting Through Gun-Free Zones

By Nice Girl

On the Thursday I was rushing back and forth with huge boxes. Although the scanner beeped at me several times, the security guard did not ask me any questions, and my .38 special and I had free reign in a government declared gun free zone.

On Friday the guard insisted that I put my bag through the x-ray machine. Perhaps it was because he was distracted by arguing with the man in front of me about his firearm, but he didn't even spot the gun lying amongst the debris of a woman's handbag. Ironically, the man in front of me saw it clearly! So on Friday I again had free reign in a government declared gun free zone. Just as well, since that building had no lock up facilities, and I was far from home, parking my hatchback in a dodgy area.

On Saturday the guard was off duty as my firearm and I waltzed into the alleged gun free zone. Should I have kicked myself for not bringing something higher powered to hide in the building, that I could later retrieve and assassinate the Minister at my leisure?

The above is not unusual. I've been armed in the SABC and the town council buildings as well as in gun free shopping centres and restaurants. In fact, thus far it's only at Parliament that I know I have a more than even chance of getting stopped.

Perhaps it's my sweet, friendly face or perhaps all women's mysterious handbags set off the sensor alarms. Either way I've walked around far too many gun free zones with my loaded revolver to be convinced of their efficacy.